I Kissed Internet Dating Goodbye

I give up. On internet dating, that is.

I've read all the articles, even a couple of books, that dispense advice on how to attract the type of person you're looking for online and repel the ones you're not. I took notes, followed the suggestions to the letter (and for the most part they are good suggestions) but in my experience they just don't work in the real world.

I have friends who have met their spouses (or soon-to-be spouses) online, and I couldn't be happier for them. Maybe they have more patience than I do...in fact, that's a distinct possibility :-). Myself, I am dog-tired of being emailed and "winked" at by men with whom I have no more in common than a duck-billed platypus (like the guy who "rides to live and lives to ride" his Harley - how much time do you wanna bet he spent actually READING what I'd taken the time to write?). It's insulting. And I am equally dog-tired of the men I have taken the initiative and sent a brief "hello" email to blatantly ignoring me.

Overall, my internet dating experience leads me to believe that cyberspace has become the new corner bar - a place where 99.99% of the people there aren't looking for REAL love and commitment, but something that's much more likely to land them at the free clinic.

Good luck to all of you out there still giving internet dating the old college try, but I think I'll go back to the old-fashioned way from here on out. It may drastically lower the sheer number of men I come into contact with, but I'll trade volume for quality any day of the week.

Love Songs (guys, feel free to zone out now)

I was thinking earlier today about some of my favorite love songs. I don't know what prompted this train of thought - maybe the longings, frustrations, disappointments, and general wackiness I've experienced so far in my return to the dating scene. Or maybe I've just seen one to many chick flicks lately.

Some of them are what everyone would recognize as a love song, some maybe not. Some deal with love between friends, some with the anguish that comes when love dies or is dying, some with God's love for us and our response to it. The list is eclectic, to say the least. Here's a sample of what rattled around in my head when I thumbed through my cd's and my iPod earlier today:

"In Your Eyes" by Peter Gabriel. This would have to be my number-one pick. And since I wrote a whole blog post devoted solely to this song, I won't bore you by babbling on about it here.

"Come Talk to Me" by Peter Gabriel. This song perfectly expresses the pain and frustration we feel when our loved one would rather retreat into a corner and let the relationship die than communicate with us and move towards healing. His vocals are so moving and powerful, they hit me dead-center whenever I listen to this one.

"She's a Rainbow" by The Rolling Stones. I just love this quirky, disjointed, sweet song. And that piano riff can always put a smile on my face. "Have you seen her all in gold?/Like a queen in days of old/Spinning colors all around/Like a sunset going down/Have you seen a lady fairer?" ... what woman wouldn't want to be described like that?

"Thank You" by Led Zeppelin. Zep rules. And so does this song. Enough said. :-)

"For Elise" by Beethoven. I know there are no words to this piece, but it strikes me as a love song all the same. When I listen to it and pay attention to the changes, I can almost see this woman's essence - her stately beauty, her laugh, even the way she dances. This man's talent is so incredible it's almost scary.

"Next To You" by The Police. I used to listen to this song all the time in college when I was in a long-distance relationship, head-over-heels for the guy and heartsick that I couldn't see him but once every few months. "What can I do?/All I want is to be next to you"...yeah, that was me.

"When I Think Of You" by Janet Jackson. This song always makes me feel good when I hear it, and puts a spring in my step. I'm a fan of the "tortured" ballad (see "Come Talk To Me" above) but sometimes I just want to hear a love song where the person is so happy they can't help but sing about it. This one fits the bill perfectly.

"Closer" by Dido. Her voice is so freaky-good and so perfect for this song. "The closer you get/The better I feel/The closer you are/The more I see/Why everyone says/That I look happier/When you're around" - that to me is what being in love is like.

"Ain't No Other Man" by Christina Aguilera. Normally I can't stand her, but when this song came out I loved it the first time I heard it. It's perfect for her powerful voice, too - gutsy, brash, and utterly unapologetic. "Ain't no other man can stand up next to you/Ain't no other man on the planet does what you do"...How many guys would love for a woman to think of them when they listen to this song?

"Umbrella" by Rihanna. I know she's singing this song to a guy (hopefully NOT Chris Brown anymore!) but whenever I hear it I think of my friends. I think of the loyalty and strength they've shown me as they've walked with me through some of the worst crapstorms of my life, and how I would do exactly the same for them.

"Amazing Grace" by John Newton. There are so many tremendous hymns and praise songs that I could go on for pages and pages, but this one is and always will be my favorite. I would call it a love song because it beautifully expresses not only God's love for us (shown by the unfathomable gift of His grace) but our (albeit imperfect) love for Him and our gratitude towards Him that this love inspires.

What about you guys? What are some of your favorite love songs, and why?