Tunes That Tame the Torture

I don't know about you, but I've been having an issue with keeping myself motivated lately - motivated to exercise, clean the house, keep things organized, etc. I browbeat myself into cleaning my bathroom today, and put on my headphones to listen to some songs I'd thrown together for workouts. Music always helps my moods - whether I need to calm down or get fired up. So I thought I'd share some of the songs I listen to when I'm working out or cleaning the house or generally need to get off my rear and get moving. For that, I need energy, speed, fierce beats, and attitude. I think all these songs have that in spades. Some of them I love because of the lyrics, and some in spite of them. Maybe you'll find one or two that you like and want to add to your "Get Moving!" collection, too. Enjoy!

This song by Rollins Band has been a favorite of mine since high school. It's great for those days when you just don't feel like getting out of bed or off the couch and going outside, or getting those chores done. I even like listening to it when I'm not working out, because it reminds me that life is short and you need to make the most of the time you've been given.

This Soundgarden song is another high school favorite. The crazy fast beat and relentless guitar are great for when you're going all out and don't think you can move your arms or legs one...more...time. I also like it for interval training, because it switches from super fast to very slow towards the end - a great cool-down period. And hey, if it was cool enough for Johnny Cash to cover...?




As for this next song, can you think of a better one to jump rope to?




Republica's "Ready to Go" (the US Mix) is also great for when you're going all out - spinning, running, or even scrubbing the shower pan! :-)




Love me some Beastie Boys, too...




I love this Black Eyed Peas tune - it just seems to take the torture out of working out. How can you possibly sit still while you're listening to this?




Okay...I gotta go get ready to work out! :-)

Is There Anybody Out There?

Or: Where have all the good men gone?

I'm feeling a tad philosophical (translation: whiny) tonight, and lucky you - you get to read all about it!

Seriously, though, after taking a most relaxing and refreshing break from even thinking about dating, the same tired old questions are back...

Why does the trend among singles in church appear to be that NO ONE is asking anyone out?

Where are the Christian single men at my church? They can't ALL have suddenly gone on a mission trip to a hut in Africa somewhere.

And my favorite...What's wrong with me?

That last one is the easiest for me to answer (isn't it always, ladies?). Sometimes I worry that a single Christian guy looks at me and sees someone who is "tainted" or "untouchable" in certain ways. I've been married before, so a guy who's holding out hope for a girl "pure as the driven snow" won't find it with me. I already have children and I'm approaching my late thirties, so most guys probably assume (and QUITE RIGHTLY, may I add!) that I'm not too jazzed about the idea of starting from scratch and having another baby with them. I didn't become a Christian until I was in my mid-twenties, so - GASP! - I have a past. Not a particularly horrific, sordid one, but a past nonetheless. I have tattoos - three, to be exact. Soon to be two if the laser treatments do their job they way I'm hoping. All in all, I don't fit the June Cleaver mold that the majority of single Christian guys seem to want (or were taught they should want).

As far as the other questions go, the answers don't come as readily. I could blame the fact that no one seems to be dating on Joshua Harris and/or Elisabeth Elliot. But while I do lay a good chunk of the blame at the feet of the "courting-good, dating-BAD" philosophy, that's just too simplistic. I think a lot of it boils down to fear - fear of rejection, fear of gossip, fear of "pooping where you eat" for lack of a better phrase...basically the same fears everyone - Christian or not - faces. I also think there's a certain amount of laziness cloaked in spiritual-sounding gobbledegook, and it goes something like this: "I'm just trusting God to bring someone into my life, someone perfect for me and who meets every single one of the requirements in the twenty-page checklist I keep in my bedside drawer. After all, He only wants THE BEST for me. So I'm just going to sit here trusting and waiting for him/her to fall from the sky straight into my lap." Kinda nice how that way of thinking abdicates someone from any and all responsibilities to get out there and meet new people, take a chance, and maybe be (just a little!) proactive, huh? "Well, I never got married or had any meaningful relationships with anyone of the opposite sex because God chose to never smack me upside the head with him/her while I was home watching 'Shark Week' on Discovery..."

And I don't know if the situation is any different at other churches, but the species "single Christian male" seems to have been hunted to the point of extinction at mine. And boy, I'll bet they FEEL hunted, too! One of the main reasons I haven't considered attending a singles community at my church (other than the fact that I love the friends I've made in my current community) is the desire to avoid the "meat market" mentality so prevalent in many church singles groups. And let's be honest, single ladies, it's no wonder guys run for cover when we act like a cup of coffee or a movie equates to a committed relationship!

Basically, all this rambling is to say I just don't get it...and I doubt the Relationship Fairy will leave all the answers underneath my pillow tonight. So it truly is a wonderful thing that I (and all my fellow Christian singles out there) have a God who really does know and sympathize with the deepest yearnings of our hearts, and who loves us more perfectly than any husband or wife ever could.

Boring Financial Stuff Made A Little More Interesting

While I was sitting in the waiting room at the dentist's office the other day, I read an interesting article about one woman's philosophy on money management and personal finance. It at least partially redeemed the half-hour I spent waiting past my scheduled appointment time. I just wish I knew how to use graphics so I could make this blog entry look as cool as the article. Anyway...

This woman's take on overspending, budgeting, and prioritizing seemed at first oversimplified and vague, but the further along I read, the more I realized that it actually is a profoundly useful system that requires us to really examine what we consider necessary in our lives. She assigned every potential purchase to one of four categories as follows:

1) NEED IT AND LOVE IT

2) NEED IT BUT DON'T LOVE IT

3) LOVE IT BUT DON'T NEED IT

4) DON'T LOVE IT AND DON'T NEED IT

Categories 1 and 2 receive the top priority, since both include things that we need. We buy these things before anything in categories 3 or 4. Examples of things in category 1 would be a great-fitting new winter coat in a favorite color to replace our old one that's worn out, or a replacement tube of our favorite lipstick (yes, guys, that is a legitimate NEED, and don't try to tell us differently, especially if we haven't had our chocolate yet!). Category 2 would be things like auto insurance, gas for our car, the utility bill, etc.

Whatever money we have left over after paying for the things we need can be devoted to the things we love. The woman referenced in the article would seriously stop and examine every potential purchase in these two categories, and she ONLY bought something if she absolutely loved it. Meaning, she wouldn't settle for the shoes that were on sale for 40% off but weren't exactly the color she was looking for. Or settle for the dark chocolate Godiva bar when what she really wanted was milk chocolate. (I know, I know - who cares? It's freaking GODIVA, right? But I digress...) And if she could ever place an item in category 4, she never bought it at all. EVER.

For those of us (like me) who are number-crunching, what's-the-bottom-line kind of people, an approach like that can seem a little hinkey. But she said prioritizing what she bought according to what she needed, then loved, freed her from becoming a slave to a house full of just "stuff" that sat around gathering dust and never getting used. She probably has fewer clothes in her closet than most of us, but every item is a favorite. She is surrounded by things she genuinely loves, and nothing she doesn't. And she actually found she spent much less money than if she focused solely on the dollar amount of a purchase: "Oh, it's on sale and I have the money - I should just get it while I can." How many of us have done just that, and regretted it later?

Obviously, more planning than just this should go into a personal financial strategy. We have to make a budget so we know how much money we have available to spend on those things we need and love. And we should always strive to find the best value for our dollar on non-negotiables like mortgages, insurance, and food. But I liked this woman's way of dealing with the leftover dollars in a way that held her accountable for the reasons behind her purchases, without sucking all the fun out of her life.

I think I'll try her method for a month and see if it makes a difference in not just my wallet, but my happiness and peace of mind. Anyone else game?

AWESOME Place for Swim Lessons

If you have young children and you're anything like me, you're dreading yet another round of $35 a pop swim lessons where 10-15 kids are crammed together into a 40-minute lesson run by a teenager who looks like they'd rather be playing Doom on their X-Box. My kids have been through I don't know how many rounds of lessons like this at rec centers around the city, and they've learned virtually nothing. So this summer I decided to search around for a more private alternative.

That's how I stumbled upon Donna's Dolphins.

The owner, Donna, runs private and semi-private lessons out of an indoor pool attached to her home. She also has other instructors who work for her. We met with Donna last night so that Tyler and Sydney could each have a half-hour trial lesson with her and see if we liked it.

We LOVED it. I don't know how she did it, but in the space of a half-hour, BOTH Tyler and Sydney made more progress than in almost all of the other lessons they've had combined. When Sydney first got in the pool, she didn't even want to put her face in the water to blow bubbles. But by the end of her half-hour, she was launching herself across the width of the pool, head down, kicking and blowing bubbles like she'd been doing it for years. And Tyler was floating on her back and flipping over on her tummy, doing the backstroke, and even starting freestroke at the end of her half hour. I sat at the edge of the pool with my jaw hanging open for the whole hour. "Stunned" doesn't begin to describe my reaction to their progress. I was flabbergasted. When it was Tyler's turn, Sydney wanted to stay in the pool and retrieve toys off the bottom.

Her pool is bright and friendly, with lots of toys and inflatables for kids to play around with (after they've done their lessons, of course). The environment is positive without being wishy-washy on correct swim techniques. And I liked the fact that they got right down to the business of learning swim techniques while still making it fun. One of the things that irritated me about the rec center lessons was it seemed like I was paying $35 to watch the kids play around in the water for the first 20 minutes.

At the end of their lesson, I asked both of them if they wanted to learn to swim at Donna's, and they both screamed, "Yeah!". I signed them up that same night.

Donna's Dolphins is not cheap, but when I added up all the money I've spent on lesson after lesson (sometimes repeating the same class level because the girls didn't pass the first or even second time) I figure I've already spent more than what I would have if I'd just known about Donna's Dolphins in the first place.

Anyway, if you're looking for a good place for your kids to learn solid swim techniques in a friendly environment, I highly recommend Donna's Dolphins. Check them out at www.donnasdolphins.com.

*Disclaimer* I am NOT being paid for this blog entry in any way. I was just so impressed by how well Tyler and Sydney took to it that I had to write something.

Just Because I Haven't Said Anything to Offend Anyone Yet Today

Boy, I'm probably going to be stepping in it with this post. Because on this issue, everyone seems to have an opinion - a STRONG opinion - one way or the other. And that would include me. I hope my comments come across as less sanctimonious/reactionary than the decidedly un-Christian things I've heard said in recent days.

I'm talking about Ted Haggard. Specifically, about he and his wife establishing a new church here in Colorado Springs. The two of them were interviewed on KVOR this morning, and it was an interview that made me sit up and pay attention.

I'll be the first to admit, the Bible states very clearly that no one but God Himself knows what's truly in another person's heart. And I'm in no way meaning to come off as more holy, more noble, or more deserving of God's grace than another person. But several things were said (and left unsaid) in the interview that have been nagging at me all day.

I don't question Mr. Haggard's desire to return to preaching or help hurting people, but I do seriously question his spiritual readiness to do so. Throughout the interview, he made frequent references to his "mistakes" and that he was "sorry" for what he had done, for hurting his family and nearly tearing his church apart. That's all fine and good, and he should be sorry for those things. Sorry BIG TIME. But he never acknowledged his actions as "sins" or "sinful", and never at any point did he mention that he had confessed those sins to God or repented of them. I don't remember either of those two words being uttered once in the entire interview, and that bothers me. There's a big difference between being sorry for your sins and repenting of them. I know - I catch myself blurring that line (or trying to) on a frequent basis.

James 3:1 says, "Not many of you should become teachers, my brothers, for you know that we who teach will be judged with greater strictness." And that's exactly the problem - Ted Haggard was a teacher of God's Word. Since he is held to a higher standard than the general population, it's all the more important that he emphasize things like genuine repentance from sin when he messes up. I just didn't get that from him. I also found it ironic that he named his new church (meeting at his home) St. James Church, because of the book of James's "loving support" for people who have messed up. Um, excuse me, but has he READ the book of James lately?

Maybe this is the Presbyterian in me, but I'm concerned about his return to the pulpit in large part because said return seems to be largely determined by Ted Haggard and Ted Haggard alone. He's apparently "decided" that he's been in the doghouse long enough. Where is the oversight? Is he in any kind of accountability group or under the authority of men who can vouch for his spiritual renewal following such a tremendous fall? Shouldn't there be some hoops for him to jump through?

At one point, the interviewer (I think it was Jeff Crank) asked him basically point-blank about whether Haggard thinks the existence of evil played any role in Haggard succumbing to temptation. I wish I could remember the exact wording of the question, because it was brilliant. He was handing Haggard the opportunity to share the gospel on a silver platter, and Haggard didn't take advantage of it. No mention was made about Christ paying for our sins with his blood on the cross. In fact, he skirted the issue. I have to wonder what kind of pastor wouldn't use every opportunity he could (especially one like a radio interview that reaches tens of thousands of people) to spread the gospel - after all, that's his JOB.

Okay, I'd better stop while I have my foot inserted only halfway into my mouth. I'm trying really hard not to cross the line between a careful discerner of someone's actions and words, and a holier-than-thou busybody who thinks I've got someone I don't even know all figured out.

What's your opinion of Ted Haggard's return to the pulpit?

The Dumbest Thing Said to Me in Recent Memory, and What I Learned from It

So here's an excerpt from the email that put the proverbial nail in the internet dating coffin for me (I promise this will be the last time I complain about internet dating, and my story does have a larger purpose than just to criticize this guy):

"Karate, huh? You'll never get a man to marry you if he thinks you can beat him up. LOL"

Ha ha. Hee hee. Ho ho. Ha. Ha. Haaaaa.

After I picked myself up off the floor and the debilitating stomach cramps from my rounds of raucous laughter at his incredibly witty comment had subsided, I started to get angry. I read his comment again, saying to myself, "Oh, no, he di-in't!" If I remember right, there might've even been a little head- and finger-wagging to go along with it. In my head, I was ranting to this clueless idiot how if a man can't handle a woman learning how to defend herself and her children then he's no man at all and he can just take his stupid comment and shove it up-

But then it occurred to me...didn't me being pissed off at this guy mean that, at least on some level, I cared what he thought of me? That I felt like I had to justify myself to a complete and total stranger, even if it was only in my head? Nah, it couldn't mean that...COULD IT?

The thought sent a chill down my spine, and got me wondering how many times I've been guilty of stifling myself (sorry, just had an Archie Bunker flashback for a second) because of fear of what other people might say or think of me. Some of the results aren't pretty (but they are pretty pathetic):

The shoes that are so hideously ugly I think they're cool, that I wore once and then hid them in the back of my closet because a couple of people looked at them funny.

I love to sing along with the radio in my car and tap out the beat on my steering wheel, but I won't do it at a stoplight because I don't want the people in the cars next to me to think I'm a wacko.

I don't like telling people who aren't very close friends what my book/short story ideas are about, because I'm afraid they'll think I'm a SERIOUS wacko.

My instinctive tendency when I see people looking at me for more than a second or two to think, "What? OMGosh, do I have something in my teeth? Did I suddenly become hideously disfigured on my way here from the car? Did I grow a camel hump on my back? It's got to be something bad, otherwise why is that person LOOKING at me?"

Blah blah blah...you get the point. As much as I hate to admit it, Idiot Internet Guy brought a muddy issue into sharp focus for me. For that, I guess I should thank him. *Ahem* "Thanks a lot, you-"

I care too much about what people think. Specifically, I care too much about what people think regarding things that SHOULDN'T MATTER AT ALL. Of course I should care whether I just stomped on someone's feelings like I did to the spider I once found in my bathtub, or whether I'm backsliding into sin quicker than Picabo Street slaloms down the side of a mountain (insert worried fidgeting that people will find my name-dropping pretentious). But what I look like while I'm singing in the car, whether my enjoyment of karate really is a turn-off to men, whether my lipstick is too red, etc, etc - are those things really worth hanging my hat on?

The last time I checked, there was no 11th commandment in the Bible that reads, "Thou shalt not wear Doc Marten mary janes with tiny pink and purple flowers on them." And I'm pretty sure that His opinion is the only one that really matters in the end.

I Kissed Internet Dating Goodbye

I give up. On internet dating, that is.

I've read all the articles, even a couple of books, that dispense advice on how to attract the type of person you're looking for online and repel the ones you're not. I took notes, followed the suggestions to the letter (and for the most part they are good suggestions) but in my experience they just don't work in the real world.

I have friends who have met their spouses (or soon-to-be spouses) online, and I couldn't be happier for them. Maybe they have more patience than I do...in fact, that's a distinct possibility :-). Myself, I am dog-tired of being emailed and "winked" at by men with whom I have no more in common than a duck-billed platypus (like the guy who "rides to live and lives to ride" his Harley - how much time do you wanna bet he spent actually READING what I'd taken the time to write?). It's insulting. And I am equally dog-tired of the men I have taken the initiative and sent a brief "hello" email to blatantly ignoring me.

Overall, my internet dating experience leads me to believe that cyberspace has become the new corner bar - a place where 99.99% of the people there aren't looking for REAL love and commitment, but something that's much more likely to land them at the free clinic.

Good luck to all of you out there still giving internet dating the old college try, but I think I'll go back to the old-fashioned way from here on out. It may drastically lower the sheer number of men I come into contact with, but I'll trade volume for quality any day of the week.